Like my last post, this is a short list of things in the beginning of my personal marriage. I noticed the different thing we had to do to transition from our two separate houses into one.
1. Its Awesome. No more multiple roommates, own place, own rules, own family, and being with the one that couple loves most, each other! Those are just a couple reasons the couple can be excited to finally be in their own place. A person gets to hang out with their loved one all day and night. They can buy what they want for their home and create a style special to their own. These experience is worth everything up to that point.
2. Partnership: The couple is in it together. In some cases, one side of the couple may not care a much as to do inside the house as the other but on the other hand, both may be very passionate in doing one thing or another. Painting a room, the appliances they have, their entertainment medias (aka video games), or other thing in the home. Take the time to understand what and why each person desires to have and work out compromises. Note; this should be a relationship together. Work it work and nothing in the house is worth blowing off the other person's head over. Take turning doing different thing together. If the wife wants to snuggle to a romantic movie, the husband has a tomorrow to do something he would like. Understand each other's needs and do each other's best to do that for them. Bathroom, take the time to get the right amount of time to each other. Men, they really do take some time. Let it be, because they look that good for you, appreciate it. Women, men are kinda gross, if you have not noticed before, we are. In our own minds we are not, but to your pretty nature, we are. I apologize on behalf of all men for, well, us. Bathrooms are a scared place for us all, treat is well.
3.Chores: Times for some true blue sacrifice. We all have chores we prefer and despise. So does the person with you. Talk about what chores you each are willing to do and prefer not to. The ones both despise, do it together, have fun with it. The house will naturally get messy, so have a game plan to clean it up when it gets to that point. Do fun little thing to surprise each other. Do a chore they do not like and surprise them.
4. Holidays or Family events. There is only one day of the year, each year. Also, each family is special. Yearly family events for each side may conflict with each. Each side of the family maybe from vary different and far away places. This places a burden on the couple. They need to sit down and discuss the plans for these types of events and each spouse needs to fully supportive. They can bring up concerns, but that does not give them a right to ignore each other. Some options may involve taking turns visiting each family. We have discussed this with our parents in my marriage. We visited my family for Thanksgiving and will be visiting hers for Christmas. We will do our best to flip to each one every year, multiple times if we can. This also brings up the question, were does the couple want to live. Again, both families are important. Work things out and know that you are blending sometimes very different families together. Learn and grow from each of your past experiences and take the traditions both have grown up with and create new ones. Keep all aspects of the family in your own.
5. Two people, one house. The couple are two different people. They sometimes get into a disagreement or misunderstanding. It is perfectly normal for two people to not have the same view. This does not mean duke it out over every little detail but communicate. Know you are each other's most important person. It is the duty of both the man and the women to understand the other spouse is the main priority. Take time. It takes time to build a relationship even when you are married.
I want to remind everyone who reads this of the last thing I posted at the end of blog post. Never go to bed mad at each other, and never let the day's dawn break still mad.
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